True reality

I have spent as long as I can remember of this life trying to find my reason. I look for a place to belong. The searching has brought me many disapointments. Even when i seemingly find the peace and fullfilment I so desperately need, in the end it is fleeting.
Only now do I find my reason, it may not be too do something extroidanary in the eyes of any person, including myself. I have finaly found the answer I seek. It is to just BE here. To let go of any false ambition and to BE who God created ME to BE.
To come what may! My life is in your hands. Completely.
I will not strugle or strive. I will not judge others or myself. That is Gods job. Oh i have lived many years, trying to know what is best for myself and for others. Believing that I was doing the christain thing. I tried to judge not lest I be judged. Trying to remember that the same measure I judge others, would be how I would be judged. I felt so holy, so rightous even now in this writing could i not feel rightous. Show me my errogance. Forgive me. Now though I put it all in your hands God. Truly I do. Again and again
Please lord let me be true. To keep my eyes on you. Looking always inward to where you dwell in me. To be all you want me to be. But to not strive on my own. For it is you, in your reality, that true purpose comes. My reality is false.
I will fall short at times, but no worries for Jesus is here with me. Others will not aprove at times, but no worries Jesus is with me. Jesus is, Always, with me.




CP