To DEEP to swim out

The mind is a jumble of thoughts. They come and they go. Some will take hold and never let you go. Others are fleeting and were did they go. To deep to swim out.
CP

Prayer for Truth

To know the mind of God is the only way to know truth. Many claim to know God. But who Really does? God give me wisdom and knowledge to know what your truth for my life is. CP

What is truth?

Our, truth is not the same truth. So what is truth? Your, truth is not truth to me. My, truth is what is truth to me. My, truth is fiction to you, and yours, to me.
The truth lies within each of us.
A measure in which we live.
Follow the rules, we all must do.
But, to believe my, truth is all there is, is not truth, but a lie. We are all decieved. So, we must, just believe.
Cp

Quicksand or Wind

To thick to tread on the path of indecision. I long for the smooth surface of everlasting. Oh the path twist and turns but steady on it goes. Steady on.
The path of wavering is muck and sand to pull me down. Pull me down. Breathe in the breath of God and carry on carry on.
CP

Bliss

Deciding to not be unhappy Is void.
But deciding to be happy is Bliss.
Go to the void then keep going up into Bliss.
CP

The Pain of My Memory

Sometimes without warning, there it is, the past. It comes upon unaware, unsolicited. In a dream in a song on the raidio on tv or on a billboard. All of a sudden wam, it smacks you in your memory. The file cabinet of the mind opens it's drawer of it's own accord. Sometimes the history file contains fond memories of security, peace and fondness. Sometimes it brings up bitter pains and sadness. Sometimes it brings revalation of things denied and better left hidden in the resesses of the memory.
Are there lessons to be learned or only a type of torture when the scene turns black and gloomy? Things left denied come to gloom!
We know in an instant where to project a preacious memory. Upon the screen of our minds eye it goes. In full color then stored away for another switch to turn it on and bring it forward.
While the unwanted, the denied truths of disapoinments past, wait In the soul to poison once again as we fight to push it down into the deep. Do I ponder or do I destroy? Destruction in any case.
Where does my hope come from? My hope comes from the Lord!
I do not know if God writes the histories or if that is left to man. I imagine it is up to both God and man, determined by the asking and the telling and the all knowing. I do believe he records them, every one, and every one upon my soul is registered.
What then are there purpose if any good is to be found? Maybe to test the strength of will and belief that strength will come. Or maybe to cause us to strive to have a desire for peace within our spirits and upon this earth. Maybe to test Our resolve to live in forgivness of others and our self. What ever there purpose I can not say, for sure, except to know that it is the nature of mind to destroy the spirit, and spirit to heal the mind.
So into the spirit should go the mind. And the soul of the spirit be God. Record my heart as yours dear LORD!
CP

Treasure to Trash

The thing I treasure today will be in my way tomorrow.

Not alone in doubt

I sometimes see or think about people who seem so positive in there resolve. They speak with authority and move forward on a path they seem to see clearly.
I on the otherhand Flander and feel at a loss as to what path I should be on.
I turn my question towards heaven. For an answer I recall the instruction Manuel. I reflect upon the examples set before me within it's pages. From Adam to John, I see there doubt and confusion. Even a hesitant or missplaced step from time to time. I read about there fears and anger. They felt at a loss at times, not knowing what would happen next. They suffered from unbelief and lost focus at times. But they rallied when it counted most. They held there head towards the heavens and the one true God. I imagine to an outsider it apeared that they had it all together, that they were confident and new there path clearly. We have an inside picture though and I am confident to know...... They were just like me...... Just like you......

Who am I? 4 real

If it wern't for manners, etiquette, and protocol who would I be?

Know who you are 4 real

It makes us feel vulnerable to let others know who we are. They may take that information and use it to hurt us. We resist even knowing who we are for fear that knowing will make us weak and sinful in Gods eyes. If we deny who we are then we can pretend to be who we want to be. Then, we falsely believe that we are what God, others and ourslves believe we should be.

CP

BE, in peace

Whatsoever a man thinketh in his heart so he is. If I can think, believe and imagine that I am peacfull then I am.

Love Hurts

Do we do a service or disservice, when we tell someone we love the Truth they don't want to hear? It's easiest to say nothing at all. But then when they want you to comfort them in their own deceit and it might could make a difference to reveille their denial, what then?
Love Hurts, coming and going. CP

Comfort in my skin

Inside this skin I am. I'm in here trying to get out. I know you can hear me.
Yes and me too. I'm here as well.
And me too.
Who am I really, inside this skin?
I cannot be all things to all people. So to thine ownself be true. So they say.
But I am couragious and weak.
I am smart yet dumb.
I am like a fire in the wind.
All within this skin I will BE.

Serve in Selfishness

I am selfish, God knows it, I know it, you know it. I pray I wasn't. But I am. To ignore it is ignorance. To except it is wisdom. Only when I recognize and ackknowledge it can I address it. I suspect that selfishness is one of the sins that kept my lord on the cross. It surely was the reason they put him there. I also suspect that there are many today that are SERVING my lord out of selfishness. But is this so wrong? We ALL have and are and will be sinners. God knows that we are sinners and selfishness runs deep. It's not new news to him. However we ourselves deny it's ever being a true hold.
To be Rightous I must not be selfish. But yet I am and I am.

I pray dear lord use me in spite of my selfish nature. Take the verry nature I ignore yet am. I give to you my SELFisness. Use it to serve your purpose. Be creative in Me and My.
CP

Focus

Absent minded I am. I made myself a note and don't remember what the note was about.
Something about putting purposeful thought to remembering.
Oh well! So much for that!
CP

True reality

I have spent as long as I can remember of this life trying to find my reason. I look for a place to belong. The searching has brought me many disapointments. Even when i seemingly find the peace and fullfilment I so desperately need, in the end it is fleeting.
Only now do I find my reason, it may not be too do something extroidanary in the eyes of any person, including myself. I have finaly found the answer I seek. It is to just BE here. To let go of any false ambition and to BE who God created ME to BE.
To come what may! My life is in your hands. Completely.
I will not strugle or strive. I will not judge others or myself. That is Gods job. Oh i have lived many years, trying to know what is best for myself and for others. Believing that I was doing the christain thing. I tried to judge not lest I be judged. Trying to remember that the same measure I judge others, would be how I would be judged. I felt so holy, so rightous even now in this writing could i not feel rightous. Show me my errogance. Forgive me. Now though I put it all in your hands God. Truly I do. Again and again
Please lord let me be true. To keep my eyes on you. Looking always inward to where you dwell in me. To be all you want me to be. But to not strive on my own. For it is you, in your reality, that true purpose comes. My reality is false.
I will fall short at times, but no worries for Jesus is here with me. Others will not aprove at times, but no worries Jesus is with me. Jesus is, Always, with me.




CP

Smile

While lying in bed with my eyes closed I imagined a tear flowing out of the corner of my eye and down my cheek. I emmediately got verry sad. Then I remembered the tear was only imaginary and put a purposeful smile on my lips. And was joyful once again.
CP

Affirm me

I am not certain, but I Believe that others think as I do, because, I judge others by the same measure I judge myself.
Therefore when I say we, I mean it honestly and sencerily.
From my point of view. So therefore, I say that we are all looking for affirmation.

We are each insacure in some point. We keep it hidden from others to not appear weak, vunrable, insacure or out of controll, but we all are. But since we seek affirmation we cannot appear so. We need our confirmation that we are sane and rightous. So we each desire inwardly that we will be confirmed. Today let me be confirmed, let me put on my right face, so that someone will notice. They will pinpoint that area of insacurity within me
and affirm me.

Lord let me be true!
Too mine own self and who you created me to be.
You are creative, I am unique.
No worries! You are with me.

CP

Sanity on a napkin

Middle life

I find myself looking back at the promises I made myself, the ones that Helped me through the first half of my life. I find though, some are impossible to keep to myself. However, they are so much apart of me, that I can't let go. But I must. They are a waight around me that intraps. Pulls me down into depression. My justification to my hormones.
With there lure of hoplesness.
The dreams were only there to help for the moment. I am not who i was. I am who i am becoming. I am in the second half of mortality.
On my way to the one who's promises are always true.
I will not make new promises to myself. I will live today, as it comes. Not of yesterday, not of tomorrow. Only today. This very time in my life. The best day, if I can only forget,the lie of the promise made in vain and look to the promises of truth. Promises not of this flesh, but of Jesus's Blood.
CP